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Find answers to commonly asked questions on...

 

Question 1 How should I discuss the subject of sex with my girlfriend?

Before discussing the subject of sex with your girlfriend, are you yourself well equipped with a basic understanding of the same? Sex is not all about intercourse - it embraces a wide range of issues having both positive and negative connotations.
Also starting off to discussing on a sensitive subject as sex may dissuade your partner to carry on with the relationship. Continue with your love relationship in a positive way, gradually focus on knowing each other's interest, help each other for other positive life achievements and leave this matter to time. Let things take their due course and you shall find the right moment. Deliberately hurrying may lead to unwanted consequences.

 

Question 2 My boyfriend insists on having sex, but I am not sure that I want to go in for it right now. How should I deal with situation?

I understand your dilemma on this sensitive issue of sex. Having or not having sex is totally a personal choice. But it is important to be fully aware of all issues related to sex and sexuality, the pros and cons of the act. Read up some basic information on the subject and be briefed well with concerns on unintended pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases etc.
Succumbing to your boyfriend's insistence should not govern you in the name of love. Your values, attitudes and knowledge should ultimately guide you.
True love shall withstand all testing situations, therefore do not hesitate to communicate what ever you feel with your partner!

 

Question 3 My breasts are small and flat and I look more like a boy. How can I develop good breasts?

It is very unfortunate that mass media have created such a fetish about the female breast, which is primarily meant to suckle the newborn infant. The breast is made up of glands and fatty tissues. Since adipose tissue (fat) determines the size of the breast, you can deduce that one way of enlarging your breasts may be to put on more weight. Should underweight be your problem, consult a doctor and take his or her advice. In general, proteins and food rich in carbohydrates may help. Exercises, such as push-ups, develop the pectoral muscles that lie below the breasts.
As far as you are concerned, I would advise you a rich diet and an active outdoor life. Remember that a healthy body and a sparkling mind are far more attractive than the most perfect of vital statistics.

 

Question 4 I am a 16 year old. My breasts are well developed. Could you advise me as to how I should look after them?

I recommend that you wear a dress, which will support your breasts. The general rule of good health, such as a balanced diet, daily bath and suitable exercise should be observed. Since you are only 16, your body will become more shapely in the next few years with the dissipation of puppy fat.
Another life long habit to develop is to self examine your breasts daily, say at bath time. This will help you detect any lump or abnormality the moment it appears. If you detect any abnormality, consult a doctor immediately. Early treatment rules out the grave dangers arising from neglect. 

 

Question 5 My boyfriend has been talking about having sex for sometime now. I have been stalling the issue. But the fact is that I want to be sure that he use a condom every time we do it. I don't know how to tell him this. Can you help me?

It is encouraging to know that you are aware of condom usage. A small act of awareness can help prevent life shaking disasters! It is extremely important for you to frankly communicate about condom usage with your boyfriend. Indirectly, you may gauge his opinion on the increasing trends in unintended pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases by raising the subject.
Gradually, tell him that a responsible adoption of condom usage would safeguard them with any such incidents in the future. Remember that love is no more blind-love but with responsibility.

 

Question 6 Why don't teenagers protect themselves if they are having sex?

It's not always because people don't know. Sometimes they. . .
 are embarrassed about buying or getting condoms
 feel peer/date pressure
 use alcohol and drugs
 have a lack of knowledge
 believe using birth control pills is enough protection
 are embarrassed about asking questions
 don't think ahead of time

 

Question 7 Why do some teens have sex?

 Some teenagers have sex because...
 They want to feel accepted.
 It feels good.
 It's "cool" to have sex.
 It's easier to have sex than to talk about it or say no.
 They want to feel close to someone.
 They feel peer pressure.
 They're in love.
 They want to experiment.

 

Question 8 I am very worried about the fact that I have small breasts. I am almost flat chested. I think that is why boys don?t show interest in me. What can I do about this problem? Will it affect my chances of marriage, pregnancy and child bearing in any manner? Should I go for breast enhancements or implants?

Many adolescent girls of your age may have small breasts, which subsequently enlarge under the influence of hormones namely estrogen and progesterone. That is why during pregnancy and childbirth breasts get enlarged spontaneously. Well-developed breasts signify proper development of secondary sex characters in a female. Therefore along with the problem of flat chest or underdeveloped breasts if you have underdevelopment of other secondary sex characters like lack of pubic hair or very little growth of external genital organ or if you do not have a proper menstrual period, in that case you may consult a gynecologist or an endocrinologist to exclude any
pathological disorders. In case they find that you are otherwise normal except small breasts, it will certainly not affect your chances of marriage, pregnancy and child bearing.
Breast enhancement by any fillers or silicon implants can be harmful. Hence have patience and do some exercises, which help you in building your chest muscles. Preparations of estrogen creams are available in the market, which are sometimes advocated for gentle massage over the breasts for breast enlargement. However it is always better to use those products under the supervision of a doctor.

 

Question 9 Can I get pregnant if I have had sexual intercourse only once in my life?

Yes, it is possible. In normal course a female ovulates every month. That means, egg is expelled every month from the ovary of a normally menstruating female. Sexual intercourse during the time of ovulation can give rise to pregnancy. So unless you want to be pregnant, even for a casual sex, you must use some sort of contraception.

 

Question 10 Do sexual addiction really exists?

Yes, sexual addictions do exist and can create chaos in the lives of individual and their family. Moreover, sexual addictions can also put the individual in danger of legal action, potential violence or STD. Whether specific behaviors can be considered sexual addiction may vary from person to person. However, an addiction may exist if an individual is unable to control certain sexual behaviors; the sexual behavior is self–destructive and it interferes with the normal daily functioning of the individual.

 

Question 11 What types of treatments are available for a person with a sexual addiction?

There is no one forms of treatment that has been proven most effective. Often, combinations of treatments are used in working with the person who has sexual addiction. For example, some of the psychiatric medications can be helpful in reducing sexual drive or in decreasing sexually intrusive thoughts. These medications may also allow an individual to consider consequences before acting on a sexual urge or impulse. In addition to medications, treatment almost always involves therapy or counseling on a regular basis.

 

Question 12 What can I do if I think my partner has a sexual addiction?

Clearly, the first step is to speak with your partner and discuss your observations and concerns. Like all addictions, denial is common. In some cases, the individual may not realize that a problem exists or that certain behavior have become out of control. Encouraging psychological treatment and providing strong emotional support are critical if changes are expected. Expressing emotional support is often difficult at this time because of personal distress and feelings of anger.

 

Question 13 How can someone I love do this to our relationship?

In trying to grasp a situation such as this, it is important to remember that the sexual behavior is an addiction. Like all addictions they serve a purpose. Often, the behavior is an attempt to cope with feelings such as depression, stress or other emotionally painful material. In other cases, there may be void in the individual’s life or in their primary relationship. Typically, the reasons behind addictive behavior are complex and multifaceted. For this reason, marital or couple’s counselling may be an adjunct to treatment.

 

Question 14 why do men have such a difficult time facing a sexual difficulty?

Most men will develop some form of sexual dysfunction at various times throughout life. Often, this will be a crisis in the man’s life. For many men, these difficulties are temporary and can be attributed to stress, fatigue, medical issues or a pre-occupation with work or some other aspect of their lives. Because sex is such a vulnerable area for many men, issues of masculinity often come into question when a sexual difficulty arises. Self-doubt can intensify almost any sexual difficulty and feelings of inadequacy are usually very prevalent. A man’s masculinity and his sexual attraction to others are not related to the quality of erections, sexual desire or ability to delay ejaculation. Having sexual difficulty need not be a serious, anxiety- provoking situation.

 

Question 15 I am a 16-year-old boy. Lately, I have become tremendously interested in the opposite sex. Whenever I am alone, I cannot resist reading pornographic magazines, which I buy regularly. Looking at porn magazines arouses my sexual curiosity tremendously. But this has given rise to a lot of sexual tension in me. I have also become addicted to cable television, which adds to this tension. I have been unable to relieve my emotions or even to reduce them. Nor can I ask any elder for advice. This attitude has not yet affected my studies, but it is affecting my concentration.

Being attracted to the opposite sex and wanting to find out more about them are perfectly healthy and normal for a person of your age, and this is the time when you begin to be attracted towards girls. Although you may feel hesitant, you should talk to your father or to a mature person about any queries you might have. Do not be embarrassed as everyone, including the elders around you have gone through a similar phase. The more information you collect on sex from authentic source, the less mysterious the subject will seem to you. You should never consult cheap literature or bank upon the knowledge given by you peer group. And when you study or do any other work, you must concentrate on it and shut out all thoughts of girls. It is possible. You have onle to make some efforts.

 

Question 16 What is oral sex?

Oral sex means one person placing his or her mouth on another person's genitals (penis, vagina or anus).

 

Question 17 What is anal sex?

Anal sex is usually when a man's penis is place inside someone else's anus, or butt hole.

 

Question 18 I have a small penis. I am worried that I will not be able to satisfy my partner sexually.

The width, length and erction of the penis vary from male to male. A small penis does not lead to conceptive inadequacy. Only the lower one third of the vagina is sensitive to touch. The upper two third is not. So a longer or shorter penis does not matter at all. There fore do not worry unnecessarily.

 

Question 19 What do you mean by the term "virgin"?

By definition, a virgin is a girl whose hymen is intact. The hymen is a fleshy, thin membrane which partially closes the mouth of the vagina. When the girl has the first sexual intercourse, the hymen is stretched and it ruptures. This is accompanied by some discomfort and bleeding. As the shape, texture and size of the opening differ considerably in different women, the extent of discomfort and bleeding varies.
However there are many cases in which the hymen is not intact even in a virgin. In many cases it does not bleed at all even at the first intercourse, because the hymen may be stretchable. In other cases, the hymen may be ruptured because of operation, injury or masturbation or any other pressure.
 

 

Question 20 What is the difference between love and sex? A quick summary.


 Love
 Love is a feeling (an emotion).
 There is no exact "right" definition of love for everybody.
 Love involves feelings of romance, attraction.
Sex
 Sex is an event or act (physical).
 There are different kinds of sex, but all kinds of sex have some things in common.
 Sex may or may not involve penetration.
Sex can happen between a male and a female, between two females, between two males, between more than two people, or by one's self (masturbation).

 

Question 21 What exactly does "having sex" include?

"Having sex" can mean many things. It can refer to intimacy or closeness between a man and a woman, between two men or between two women. "Having sex" doesn't just mean when a man's penis enters a woman's vagina.

 

Question 22 What is vaginal sex?

Vaginal sex usually means having a man's penis placed inside a woman's vagina.

 

 

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